The best marriage and wedding advice Beyond the Wedding Day: Why a Thriving Marriage Demands More Investment Than the Ceremony

It's Wedding season! The flowers are ordered. The guest lists are checked (twice). The wedding venue is polished, the dress steamed, the playlists curated. Across the country, couples will stand before their families, friends, and God, committing themselves to love and to cherish — forever.

They will do all this after spending, on average, $35,000 on the wedding ceremony and celebration, according to the latest wedding industry reports. A staggering figure, when you think about it. A down payment on a home. A year’s worth of tuition. A sum many spend without hesitation for what they believe will be the happiest day of their lives.

And yet, here’s the tension, the deeper question just beneath the polished surface:

How many of these same couples will spend even a fraction of that on investing in their actual marriage?

The Hidden Gap Between Wedding Costs and Marriage Investment

There is a paradox at the heart of modern relationships.

We are willing to spend extravagantly on the beginning — the photographs, the wedding venue, the champagne toast — but we hesitate, even recoil, at spending money on what sustains the relationship over time. We treat the wedding as the mountain top, the “arrival,” when in truth, it’s only the base camp.

And here’s where the quiet data delivers a gut punch:

• 40–50% of first marriages end in divorce

• Divorce rates climb even higher — nearly 60% — for second marriages

• Couples most often cite lack of emotional connection, poor communication, and slowly growing apart

Not infidelity. Not financial ruin.

Disconnection. Neglect. Drifting.

These numbers are not meant to frighten — they are meant to clarify:

Love is not self-sustaining. It demands care, attention, and yes, investment — emotional, spiritual, and financial.

Why Don’t We Invest in Our Marriages?

Part of the challenge is cultural. We glorify the visible — the Instagram posts, the wedding hashtags, the honeymoon photos, the anniversary captions. But marriage enrichment is invisible. It happens in counseling sessions, at quiet couples’ retreats, through the slow, humble labor of learning to fight fair, listen deeply, and love generously.

It feels optional. It feels… extra.

But let’s tell the truth: if we treated any other crucial area of our life this way — our health, our business, our children — we’d call it what it is: neglect.

A thriving marriage isn’t built on feelings alone.

It’s built on the practice of staying emotionally, spiritually, and relationally close, year after year.

5 Ways to Move From Surviving to Thriving

Here’s the good news and the best marriage and wedding advice: you don’t need to overhaul your life or break your bank account to start investing in your marriage. You just need intentionality. Here are five powerful, proven ways to start:

1️⃣ Read Together, Learn Together

Pick a marriage book and read it side by side. Discuss one chapter a week. Let the conversation take you into new territory — not just problems, but possibilities.

The best couples are the ones who stay curious about each other.

2️⃣ Attend a Marriage Conference or Workshop

These spaces are not about fixing what’s broken; they’re about strengthening what’s good.

Marriage conferences offer tools, language, and frameworks that can transform how you handle conflict, intimacy, and growth.

3️⃣ Step Away on a Marriage Retreat

A marriage retreat is an act of rebellion against the chaos of life. It’s a way to say, “We matter.” Even a weekend away can recalibrate your hearts, refocus your priorities, and remind you why you chose each other.

4️⃣ Work With a Marriage Coach or Therapist

Great marriages are not the absence of conflict; they are the presence of repair. A marriage therapist or relationship coach helps you build skills to navigate the hard places without losing each other in the process.

5️⃣ Build an Annual Marriage Enrichment Budget

You budget for vacations. You budget for home repairs. Why not budget for your marriage? Set aside funds each year for books, coaching, date nights, workshops — whatever nourishes your relationship. Think of it as preventive care, not emergency surgery.

Flipping the Narrative

Imagine this: a couple who spent $35,000 on their wedding decides to invest just 10% of that amount every year into their marriage. That’s $3,500 a year — less than $300 a month — dedicated to staying connected, supported, and deeply in love.

What would that save over the years?

What would that protect?

What legacy would that create — not just for them, but for the children watching?

Here’s the truth we need to remember, especially in this season of Pinterest boards, wedding hashtags, and picture-perfect first dances:

The wedding is the start, not the summit.

The real work, the real beauty, comes after — in the day-to-day, year-to-year commitment to thrive, not just survive.

Final Thought

It’s time we stop asking, “How much did you spend on your wedding?”

And start asking, “How much are you investing in your marriage?”

Because love — real, lasting, soul-deep love — is not a one-day event.

It is the greatest and most important project of your life.

And it is worth everything you’ve got.